Religion and Ethics Forum

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 07:46:13 AM

Title: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 07:46:13 AM
Another one of those stories about how great we can be, and one that makes me want to go around telling people that I love them.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/15/dad-writing-birthday-cards-for-sons-he-wont-see-grow-up-motor-neurone-disease
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 15, 2018, 08:36:45 AM
I would have found it very creepy to receive cards from a dead person. :o
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Harrowby Hall on September 15, 2018, 02:24:23 PM
I would have found it very creepy to receive cards from a dead person. :o

That, given the circumstances and context of this story, is a response which indicates that that you have the matter little thought.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 15, 2018, 02:35:09 PM
That, given the circumstances and context of this story, is a response which indicates that that you have the matter little thought.

I have given it plenty of thought, actually. In similar circumstances it would still freak me out.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: NicholasMarks on September 15, 2018, 02:55:22 PM
Another one of those stories about how great we can be, and one that makes me want to go around telling people that I love them.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/15/dad-writing-birthday-cards-for-sons-he-wont-see-grow-up-motor-neurone-disease

A very sad story indeed...Our sympathy is us wanting to reach out and give our own emotional strength to the problem and thereby ease the burden, but we can't. This is why Jesus Christ is so important to each and every one of us...Jesus can reach in, when he is allowed to, and can harness what little strength a person can muster. This can ensure resurrection for the injured party to a new, healthier, vessel, usually close to loved ones. Often the damaged body is of little further use, but, if, in our damaged days, we can harness what righteousness we can, we can also begin re-shaping and strengthening the genetic faults that are otherwise working away unabated. Altering the genetic pattern that is disabling us is certainly worth that extra effort, so that others can see how the science behind it all works.

 
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 15, 2018, 03:03:47 PM
A very sad story indeed...Our sympathy is us wanting to reach out and give our own emotional strength to the problem and thereby ease the burden, but we can't. This is why Jesus Christ is so important to each and every one of us...Jesus can reach in, when he is allowed to, and can harness what little strength a person can muster. This can ensure resurrection for the injured party to a new, healthier, vessel, usually close to loved ones. Often the damaged body is of little further use, but, if, in our damaged days, we can harness what righteousness we can, we can also begin re-shaping and strengthening the genetic faults that are otherwise working away unabated. Altering the genetic pattern that is disabling us is certainly worth that extra effort, so that others can see how the science behind it all works.

 


Your nonsense has nothing to do with this thread! ::)
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 03:08:03 PM
That, given the circumstances and context of this story, is a response which indicates that that you have the matter little thought.

Think it’s more a lack of empathy.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: ippy on September 15, 2018, 03:22:06 PM
Think it’s more a lack of empathy.

Not the sort of thing I would do, but there we're all different, I wouldn't want to pass judgement on this one.

Regards ippy 
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 15, 2018, 03:35:32 PM
Not the sort of thing I would do, but there we're all different, I wouldn't want to pass judgement on this one.

Regards ippy

Each to their own. Some people would obviously relish receiving such cards, but I wouldn't.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Robbie on September 15, 2018, 04:19:42 PM
Writing the cards was probably cathartic for him and I'm all for that. Later on he may decide not to leave them for his children or his wife may keep them for much later, to be given or not at her discretion. We don't know what will happen. 

I can understand the poor man wanting to leave a memory of him behind for his children. It's a very sad and touching story.

LR given what we know of Nicholas and his posts and allowing for his unusual ideas, that one was quite sensitive.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Harrowby Hall on September 15, 2018, 04:43:29 PM
Had I have been a child who received a message from a dead parent - like this - I would have been moved beyond imagination. I find the idea very touching.

My own grandchildren are sufficiently young for me to fear that I will see not a great amount of their growing up. I have considered leaving a suitable message for each one when he or she is - say - eighteen.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Shaker on September 15, 2018, 04:50:00 PM
Had I have been a child who received a message from a dead parent - like this - I would have been moved beyond imagination. I find the idea very touching.

My own grandchildren are sufficiently young for me to fear that I will see not a great amount of their growing up. I have considered leaving a suitable message for each one when he or she is - say - eighteen.
Considering it is the worst thing you might do. No man knoweth the hour and what have you and so forth.

I posted recently about how unbelievably furious I was (and am) that my aunt allegedly destroyed an entire suitcase stuffed with the wartime letters between my maternal grandparents, who both died within a few months of each other not long before I was born. Because of that fact I never knew them (Captain Obvious strikes again), so those missives would have been incredibly precious to me.

I've read other accounts like this of mothers - often young mothers - dying of cancer creating memory boxes for the children they know they won't see grow up. The horror of this is beyond my imagining.

If it turns out that there is a God after all, I promise that I'll give it at least five minutes to try to explain itself.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 05:02:18 PM
Had I have been a child who received a message from a dead parent - like this - I would have been moved beyond imagination. I find the idea very touching.

My own grandchildren are sufficiently young for me to fear that I will see not a great amount of their growing up. I have considered leaving a suitable message for each one when he or she is - say - eighteen.

I did this for my daughter, and then both my daughters, on the eve of having c-sections. A safe operation, but even so. Not needed on the end, obviously. This probably comes from the fact that my eldest nearly died during a crash section, which gave me some perspective on how these things can turn so quickly.

I can understand not wanting to open the card actually on my birthday. But to have that opportunity of connection, knowing something of a parent I can remember, and knowing he was thinking of me... so precious.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 05:04:52 PM
Considering it is the worst thing you might do. No man knoweth the hour and what have you and so forth.

I posted recently about how unbelievably furious I was (and am) that my aunt allegedly destroyed an entire suitcase stuffed with the wartime letters between my maternal grandparents, who both died within a few months of each other not long before I was born. Because of that fact I never knew them (Captain Obvious strikes again), so those missives would have been incredibly precious to me.

I've read other accounts like this of mothers - often young mothers - dying of cancer creating memory boxes for the children they know they won't see grow up. The horror of this is beyond my imagining.

If it turns out that there is a God after all, I promise that I'll give it at least five minutes to try to explain itself.

Yes, years ago on Mumsnet someone posted asking for ideas for s menoryy box she was creating. Things like fabric with a favourite perfume on it, a bottle of nail varnish or a lippy, MP3 player loaded with music...
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 15, 2018, 05:07:13 PM
Writing the cards was probably cathartic for him and I'm all for that. Later on he may decide not to leave them for his children or his wife may keep them for much later, to be given or not at her discretion. We don't know what will happen. 

I can understand the poor man wanting to leave a memory of him behind for his children. It's a very sad and touching story.

LR given what we know of Nicholas and his posts and allowing for his unusual ideas, that one was quite sensitive.


It seemed like his usual nonsense to me.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Gordon on September 15, 2018, 05:41:49 PM
I think this is a lovely idea with regard to our grandchildren, who are a daily part of our lives, and Mrs G agrees: so we are going to give this approach some thought over the coming months (assuming, of course, we both survive the coming months).
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 06:42:35 PM
Writing the cards was probably cathartic for him and I'm all for that. Later on he may decide not to leave them for his children or his wife may keep them for much later, to be given or not at her discretion. We don't know what will happen. 

I can understand the poor man wanting to leave a memory of him behind for his children. It's a very sad and touching story.

LR given what we know of Nicholas and his posts and allowing for his unusual ideas, that one was quite sensitive.

By the sounds of things he's tailoring each one in an age appropriate way. I think he's aware of how important it is for a kid to know that their parents love them. And I'm assuming she will be talking about their fair all the time, so it won't be weird to have a card that daddy has written.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Robbie on September 15, 2018, 07:34:11 PM
No it's not weird. I've read before of people doing that & memory boxes. 
This is such a sad story, I really hope Joe stays well for a lot longer. His words in the article are so moving, just imagining the possibility of leaving such young children is awful.

Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 15, 2018, 08:30:38 PM
No it's not weird. I've read before of people doing that & memory boxes. 
This is such a sad story, I really hope Joe stays well for a lot longer. His words in the article are so moving, just imagining the possibility of leaving such young children is awful.

It's the last line that gets me.

That my part is ending, that it was good, and that it was enough.

And that is what I find so life affirming.

And he'w writing something silly 'because I was' and something interested 'because I was'. Some kids never get to know that about their dads even if they spend twenty years under the same roof as them.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 16, 2018, 09:07:55 AM
I know exactly what my father would say to me in each card he wrote should he have done so. It would be what he said to me when he was on his deathbed, I couldn't exceed to his wishes then, and would never do so now where that particular request was concerned. If my mother wrote those cards they would probably contain the same question she repeatedly asked me throughout her life, "Where did I go so wrong with you you?", meaning I didn't see things her way, nor did anyone else for that matter, including her own mother.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 16, 2018, 09:25:53 AM
That's sad, LR, I'm sorry.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Steve H on September 16, 2018, 10:01:36 AM
Every thread LR posts on, as I've said before, ends up being about her. It's rather tiresome, and in this case arguably insensitive.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 16, 2018, 10:09:22 AM
I think that when discussing a human story it is inevitable to relate it to one's own experience.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Steve H on September 16, 2018, 10:12:12 AM
I think that when discussing a human story it is inevitable to relate it to one's own experience.
It certainly is where LR's concerned. ::)
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 16, 2018, 10:26:18 AM
It certainly is where LR's concerned. ::)

Have you considered why that might be?
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Steve H on September 16, 2018, 02:29:54 PM
Have you considered why that might be?
Yes, but I'd better keep my conclusion to myself.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 16, 2018, 02:39:39 PM
That's sad, LR, I'm sorry.

Don't be sad, I'm not, that is just the way it was, I got used to it.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 16, 2018, 02:42:21 PM
Every thread LR posts on, as I've said before, ends up being about her. It's rather tiresome, and in this case arguably insensitive.

Oh for pity's sake, you are so boring. One can only speak from one's own experience of life, I know other people see things differently, which is fine.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Robbie on September 16, 2018, 03:24:35 PM
Steve you could ignore it. Others do. I dunno what it is about you two (don't want to know).
It looks as though you are picking on LR the way you home in on her posts - and it's water off a duck's back, makes absolutely no difference :-). Pick on someone your own size but I bet you wouldn't.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Roses on September 16, 2018, 03:55:20 PM
Steve you could ignore it. Others do. I dunno what it is about you two (don't want to know).
It looks as though you are picking on LR the way you home in on her posts - and it's water off a duck's back, makes absolutely no difference :-). Pick on someone your own size but I bet you wouldn't.

Poor SteveH must have a very boring existence if he gets his kicks by picking on me. ::)  I couldn't care less what he thinks, as you say it is water off a ducks back, I certainly don't lose any sleep over it.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Robbie on September 16, 2018, 03:58:30 PM
I'm more concerned about him, metaphorically, 'losing sleep' over you! Very unhealthy to be that bothered by the words of a-someone you don't know in person. It's easy enough to ignore them.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Steve H on September 16, 2018, 05:07:20 PM
Oh for pity's sake, you are so boring. One can only speak from one's own experience of life, I know other people see things differently, which is fine.
One obviously only can, but most people are capable of a bit of objectivity.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Robbie on September 16, 2018, 06:07:29 PM
It's quite possible to think yourself into someone else's shoes, even feel something of what they feel, thus understanding a different point of view. It's really good too because it means one will naturally be more objective.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 16, 2018, 06:10:31 PM
It's quite possible to think yourself into someone else's shoes, even feel something of what they feel, thus understanding a different point of view. It's really good too because it means one will naturally be more objective.

Not everyone can, for a variety of reasons.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: jeremyp on September 16, 2018, 08:18:56 PM
That, given the circumstances and context of this story, is a response which indicates that that you have the matter little thought.

I agree with LR on this.
Title: Re: Life affirming
Post by: Rhiannon on September 16, 2018, 08:30:47 PM
I agree with LR on this.

In a sense I don't think the article is about the cards. Sure, they are a hook, and sure, the Graun decided (erroneously IMO) to make it their headline (whoever writes the Graun's headline these days is pretty shit at it). But for me this is more about his journey to acceptance. That, as he says, his part is ending, and it's ok. I find that mind-blowing.