Religion and Ethics Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Roses on December 30, 2018, 11:38:35 AM
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Taking my in-laws on holiday with us would have been a fate much worse than death. :o
-
Not all grandparents are like your in laws.
We've had holidays with both sets of our parents (our children's grandparents) which were very successful. We have three left now & they don't go too far any more but we took one up to Yorkshire with us in May. He really enjoyed it,so did we.
In years gone by it was more that the grandparents took us away! We had holidays on our own too as did they.
I fondly remember family holidays with my grandparents.
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Taking my in-laws on holiday with us would have been a fate much worse than death. :o
If it is from a Conservative MP then I would be going down to the council highway maintenance depot for an adequate supply of salt to go with the suggestion.
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Taking my in-laws on holiday with us would have been a fate much worse than death. :o
Grandparents ARE family...aren't they?! Family holidays normally include grandparents (unless they don't want to go somewhere or are unable). That is the norm in India and in many eastern countries.
-
I would just like to point out that the reverse is true and that some grandparents (hint, hint) actually choose to include their grandchildren in their holiday plans.
-
I'd like to second that, Gordon. :)
-
I would never dream of inflicting myself and my husband on our adult kids when it comes to holidays, even though we are more than happy to pay for them.
I had one family holiday with both my parents when I was six, thank goodness it was never repeated! :o
We took our kids on educational trips when they were young as we considered it important to do so, but holidays have never been a source of pleasure for me, even though my husband enjoys them.
-
Grandparents ARE family...aren't they?! Family holidays normally include grandparents (unless they don't want to go somewhere or are unable). That is the norm in India and in many eastern countries.
Not uncommon in the UK, but certainly not the norm. Most people would consider a 'family holiday' to be Mum, Dad and the kids.
-
Well, as the owner of property abroad, I usually find my daughter wants to descend on me with her family and spend a few days, possibly as much as a week, with me before they depart for some further destination. They will then turn up several days later on their return journey.
I am pleased to see my daughter and son-in-law and I think that they do enjoy their visit. They usually treat me to a meal somewhere. My grandchildren also enjoy their visits.
I accept that I am being used as free accommodation but that does not bother me. After all, since they live in the Channel Islands, they accommodate me on the two or three visits that I make to them each year.
-
I would never dream of inflicting myself and my husband on our adult kids when it comes to holidays, even though we are more than happy to pay for them.
I had one family holiday with both my parents when I was six, thank goodness it was never repeated! :o
We took our kids on educational trips when they were young as we considered it important to do so, but holidays have never been a source of pleasure for me, even though my husband enjoys them.
You didn't go on holiday with your parents after the age of six? Did you really mean that?
I get you aren't keen on holidays, you're not alone there, I know others who feel the same way. Short breaks can be nice though.
Grandparents ARE family...aren't they?! Family holidays normally include grandparents (unless they don't want to go somewhere or are unable). That is the norm in India and in many eastern countries.
Agree sririam, a lot of people holiday with the grands and other extended family here too but it's not unusual for mum, dad and kids to go away on their own or maybe with siblings. Let's face it, there are no hard and fast rules.
My parents and my in laws used to take us & my sister away for a week or maybe more, once we had the kids. My sister in law (husband's sis), and her husband had two children and they were frequently incorporated.
However we did have holidays on our own too. Like this year, a week in Yorkshire which included my dad, a week in North Devon with my sister and bro in law and two of our adult children.
Then husb and I went to America to see our eldest and celebrate his 6Oth. OUr youngest daughter came with.
Last year we had two weeks in N Devon, which was bliss.
Husband's sister and bro-in-law live in West Sussex, in the hospitality industry. We are always welcome there but don't go in peak season. My in laws went just before Christmas and came back on 27th, grandson drove them home & all came to us for supper. We've had some amazing times there, including my parents who really loved them.
So, yes, I think it is quite normal to include grandparents and extended family in holidays but not all the time. It's lovely to get away on your own. Last year in September Chas and I went to Kefalonia in September and it was sheer bliss!
I feel sad that my dad and in laws now feel they don't want to travel far, though I understand it. They will still have 'little' holidays in this country, they will enjoy life for as long as they can.
-
Well, as the owner of property abroad, I usually find my daughter wants to descend on me with her family and spend a few days, possibly as much as a week, with me before they depart for some further destination. They will then turn up several days later on their return journey.
I am pleased to see my daughter and son-in-law and I think that they do enjoy their visit. They usually treat me to a meal somewhere. My grandchildren also enjoy their visits.
I accept that I am being used as free accommodation but that does not bother me. After all, since they live in the Channel Islands, they accommodate me on the two or three visits that I make to them each year.
Whereabouts in the CI? I was born in Guernsey, but moved to the UK in 1969 when I married my English husband.
-
You didn't go on holiday with your parents after the age of six? Did you really mean that?
I get you aren't keen on holidays, you're not alone there, I know others who feel the same way. Short breaks can be nice though.
Agree sririam, a lot of people holiday with the grands and other extended family here too but it's not unusual for mum, dad and kids to go away on their own or maybe with siblings. Let's face it, there are no hard and fast rules.
My parents and my in laws used to take us & my sister away for a week or maybe more, once we had the kids. My sister in law (husband's sis), and her husband had two children and they were frequently incorporated.
However we did have holidays on our own too. Like this year, a week in Yorkshire which included my dad, a week in North Devon with my sister and bro in law and two of our adult children.
Then husb and I went to America to see our eldest and celebrate his 6Oth. OUr youngest daughter came with.
Last year we had two weeks in N Devon, which was bliss.
Husband's sister and bro-in-law live in West Sussex, in the hospitality industry. We are always welcome there but don't go in peak season. My in laws went just before Christmas and came back on 27th, grandson drove them home & all came to us for supper. We've had some amazing times there, including my parents who really loved them.
So, yes, I think it is quite normal to include grandparents and extended family in holidays but not all the time. It's lovely to get away on your own. Last year in September Chas and I went to Kefalonia in September and it was sheer bliss!
I feel sad that my dad and in laws now feel they don't want to travel far, though I understand it. They will still have 'little' holidays in this country, they will enjoy life for as long as they can.
As I said the only holiday I ever went on with both my parents was when I was six. They didn't usually go on holidays together, preferring to go away separately, as they had different interests.
When our children were small we went back to Guernsey every year as it was ideal for them, and my parents didn't mind us either staying in my childhood home, or one of the holiday apartments they owned.
We rarely saw my in-laws as we didn't get on with them, they had no interest in our children.
-
You've occasionally given the impression, over the past year or so, that you didn't get on with your parents either.
However it was lovely for you and the family to go to Guernsey. I had a friend at school who went to Jersey every year and stayed with family. Had an amazing time.
At least if you 'go home' you can be casual and the kids can do as they please. Sounds idyllic.
Holidays can be very stressful though, no point in putting yourself through it if it doesn't suit so I support you in being a bit different. I'm aware of things I would hate in a holiday but have managed to avoid them.
Relatives (on mum's mum's side) from Yorkshire come to us and spend time, a holiday, which they enjoy. Am glad of that, I really like seeing them. We have one cousin (3rd) who is staying for a while, gap year & working. He's smashing. We do have a lot of room though.
-
I've been thinking about this a bit and I think it's not as uncommon as the MP seems to think. Certainly in my childhood we were frequently accompanied by one or other set of grand parents before they became too ill or died. Having no children of my own I don't have direct experience of the present day, but judging by the photos that regularly adorn my FB feed a goodly number of my friends regularly have inter-generational holidays.
-
You've occasionally given the impression, over the past year or so, that you didn't get on with your parents either.
However it was lovely for you and the family to go to Guernsey. I had a friend at school who went to Jersey every year and stayed with family. Had an amazing time.
At least if you 'go home' you can be casual and the kids can do as they please. Sounds idyllic.
Holidays can be very stressful though, no point in putting yourself through it if it doesn't suit so I support you in being a bit different. I'm aware of things I would hate in a holiday but have managed to avoid them.
Relatives (on mum's mum's side) from Yorkshire come to us and spend time, a holiday, which they enjoy. Am glad of that, I really like seeing them. We have one cousin (3rd) who is staying for a while, gap year & working. He's smashing. We do have a lot of room though.
I didn't see things my parents way, especially my mother. As she got older she became more and more difficult, whereas my father got much easier to be around. It was very sad he died a few years before she did, he could have done with some good years without her. But that is all in the past.
I am trying to ensure my husband and I are not too much of a burden to our kids. I feel very guilty that due to my stupidity I am unable to drive until my shoulder is healed, and to add to that I have a bad back at present. Our eldest daughter is having to drive me around, usingmy car, to ensure it gets some use whilst I am out of action. She is taking me to the supermarket at 7.30am tomorrow.
-
I was lucky growing up as my grandparents on my father's side had retired to Snowdonia - so whenever we visited it was, in effect, a holiday.
However only once did we go away on holiday as a family with the grandparents - a holiday on SW Scotland with my aunt and uncle on my mother's side, plus my grandmother.
Likewise as parents, we've had mini breaks with my father while he was alive and my in-laws, but never what I'd consider a full holiday. And that's how I like it - there is a completely different dynamic when my or my wife's parents are with us, and I'd like my family holiday to be just us and the kids. That's the only time I can fully relax.
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Don't think I fancy that. Mine are all dead and three out of four were cremated.
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Taking my in-laws on holiday with us would have been a fate much worse than death. :o
Have done this a few times with my parents or my mother-in-law and on the whole found it was quite good. My dad was very useful in helping my husband convince a huge Burmese army convey to move their 50 or so trucks out the way so we could drive down a mountain road and make it back to Yangon to catch our flight out of Burma. Our driver was too scared to speak to them as he thought they would shoot him. But that was before the grandchildren were on the scene. After that, my dad enjoyed taking the kids to the pool or taking them for walks or my parents might baby-sit on holiday in the evenings after dinner.
My mother-in-law was great at negotiating and getting sales staff and hotel people to be helpful, which apart from the immediate benefits, was a good learning experience for me on the art of getting things done.
Arthritis in her knees means she has become less and less inclined to walk or even get out of bed so we can't take her anywhere now as her muscles are so weak due to lack of use that any slight exertion is difficult for her. The last time we could take her on holiday was about 5 years ago when we went to the Cotswolds. It's a vicious circle - she doesn't want to walk or even sit in a chair because her weak muscles make it painful, which in turn makes her muscles even weaker, making her even more immobile.
In addition, she has some signs of dementia, so less assertive. So yes she is sometimes lonely now as she has recently ended up in a physio hospital after a fall (nothing serious) and they won't release her unless she starts sitting in a chair for long periods rather than staying in bed, and also walks short distances with a frame. Apparently releasing her to be waited on hand and foot by carers at home is not in her best interests.
My parents, who are in their mid 70s now, are still pretty active despite knee operation. Still involved in humanitarian work, holiday frequently without us and are definitely not lonely. They are off to Argentina next month. We could still go on holiday together as everyone does what they feel like and meet up for meals, but I think they prefer their touring holidays to the resorts the kids seem to want to do, so wouldn't mind ditching the kids sometimes and going on the type of touring holidays preferred by my parents.
-
Whereabouts in the CI? I was born in Guernsey, but moved to the UK in 1969 when I married my English husband.
My grandchildren are toads. My daughter has lived there for thirteen years now and so has full residential qualifications.
-
The MP should mind her/his own flaming business.
-
Deleted, on advice from my better judgement.
-
My grandchildren are toads. My daughter has lived there for thirteen years now and so has full residential qualifications.
Oh dear they have my sympathy, far better to be a Guernsey donkey than a crapaud. ;D For the uninitiated 'crapaud' is the island patois for toad, the residents of Jersey.
-
Oh dear they have my sympathy, far better to be a Guernsey donkey than a crapaud. ;D For the uninitiated 'crapaud' is the island patois for toad, the residents of Jersey.
I'm tempted to make a sarky comment about one of the smaller Channel Islands, but I won't.
-
I'm rempted to make a sarky comment about one of the smaller Channel Islands, but I won't.
See what you did there. I'm going to put my pullover on and go for a walk now.
-
I never knew my grandfathers as both died before I was born. I was very fond of my maternal grandmother, she was a plain speaking Lancashire lass, a bit like Ena Sharples without the hairnet! My paternal grandmother was Irish, an awful woman, >:( but her mother, who died when I was eight, was a lovely lady. Partly because of her and the friendliness of the Irish people when we holidayed there, encouraged me to apply for Irish citizenship in 2008, to which I was entitled.
-
An MP has suggested taking grandparents on family holidays!
Taking my in-laws on holiday with us would have been a fate much worse than death. :o
For them or you? :o 8) ::)
-
:)
Nice 2 C U, yor not here often.
-
:)
Nice 2 C U, you not here often.
Hi Robbie, My computer too slow and my son uses his a lot of the time. Hopefully find more time to post now things settling. Nice to hear from you. :)