Religion and Ethics Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Steve H on April 20, 2020, 11:29:50 AM
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Give us the opening sentence of your Covid-19 novel. Here are two to start things off:
Two weeks after burying my wife and children in the garden, I finally met another survivor, and realised that this was a bit more serious than seasonal flu.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in posession of a good fortune, must be in want of a giant economy pack of luxury, aloe vera-impregnated bog-rolls.
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I had survived the first 18 Covids, but this one seemed worse.
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It was a dark and stormy night in the wilds of Communist China . . .
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The United States of America are infested by two terrible plagues, Covid-19 and Donald Trump.
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... and on the eighth day God said 'Let there be the Corona virus'. And it came to be so.
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It was the worst of times. It was the worst of times.
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'In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. "Whenever you feel like coughing, fuck off".
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Renowned curator Jacques Sauniere staggered through the vaulted archway of the ICU. He lunged for the nearest ventilator he could see, a Dyson.
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Renowned curator Jacques Sauniere staggered through the vaulted archway of the ICU. He lunged for the nearest ventilator he could see, a Dyson.
Nice Dan Brown parody
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Nice Dan Brown parody
I feel my Tale of Two Cities one is better.
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When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, the police visited him and had a severe word about social distancing.
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A Trumpian theme to this one:
All children, except one, grow up
I didn't even have to change it.
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Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Corona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
With social distancing and checking if hands unclean.'
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Another one that doesn't need changing.
Dr. Iannis had enjoyed a satisfactory day in which none of his patients had died or got any worse.
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From my unfilmed movie script:
Did you hear that? They've relaxed social distancing. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!
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I feel my Tale of Two Cities one is better.
But Dan Brown didn't write A Tale of Two Cities ;)
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Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the riverbank, and of having nothing to do.
Alice looked at her sister and asked her if she knew when the fuck the lockdown was going to end!
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Another which needs no enhancement.
This is a tale of a meeting of two lonesome, skinny, fairly old white men on a planet which was dying fast.
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....also
Behind every man now alive stand thirty ghosts, for that is the ratio by which the dead outnumber the living
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There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.
Not after Boris had tightened the lockdown order the previous day.
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It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with Covid-19 when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me
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Someone must have sneezed near Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was infected.
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riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a corona virus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.
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Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a stash of toilet roll and ancient face mask on a shelf and kept an old Winnebago and a Land Rover to escape.
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He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a shit.
This, he found out later, was one of the rarer side effects of Covid 19.
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Old friends, sat on their park bench like bookends. A newspaper blown through the grass falls on the round toes of the high shoes of the old friends.
A cop wandered up and fined them for sitting on the bench.
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Here is the last line of one of my novels (spoiler alert).
The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say who was asymptomatic.
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It was a bright, cold day in April, and the telescreens were talking about quarantine.
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The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, Covid rose in the Mountains of Mist. Covid was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. But it was a beginning.
O.
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He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a shit.
This, he found out later, was one of the rarer side effects of Covid 19.
Thanks to Social Distancing his neighbour sat in his skiff two miles away, but he just didn't give a shit!
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Pam Ayres who is currently in Australia, posted on Twitter:-
I think that I may take a stroll,
And buy myself a toilet roll.
At home it will be safely stowed,
With the other pallet-load.