Religion and Ethics Forum

General Category => Literature, Music, Art & Entertainment => Topic started by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 11:12:39 AM

Title: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 11:12:39 AM

"Cockney" alphabets were once popular joke alphabets, with many variant versions. They went, for example:
"A for 'orses
B for mutton"
etc., each letter being a dreadful pun. I suggest (yet) another alphabetical game, this time inventing our own puns, so I'll start:
A for bull chap.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 11:22:06 AM

B for the flood

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: jeremyp on July 28, 2020, 11:22:20 AM

B for Botham

G for escaping convicts.

R for Daily

U for ear

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 11:31:03 AM

Quote from: jeremyp on July 28, 2020, 11:22:20 AM

B for Botham

G for escaping convicts.

R for Daily

U for ear

One at a time, and in the correct order, please!

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 11:32:02 AM

C for swimming

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 11:35:21 AM

D for blind

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 11:36:54 AM

E for got his trousers.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 11:40:58 AM

F for Simon

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: jeremyp on July 28, 2020, 11:54:37 AM

Quote from: Wilkins Micawber on July 28, 2020, 11:31:03 AM

One at a time, and in the correct order, please!

They are one at a time and they are in the correct order.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 12:58:11 PM

G for police

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 01:31:57 PM

Quote from: jeremyp on July 28, 2020, 11:54:37 AM

They are one at a time and they are in the correct order.

Play properly, and stop being a smart-alec. It's not clever, and it's not funny.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Owlswing on July 28, 2020, 01:53:31 PM

 A for 'orses

 B for Mutton

 C for thighlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)

 F ervesant

 G f'of police

 O for the wings of a dove

 Q for the loo

 T for two

 U for me

 Can't remember the rest; my Grandfather used to use it mainly to wind my Granma up!

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: jeremyp on July 28, 2020, 01:55:01 PM

Quote from: Wilkins Micawber on July 28, 2020, 01:31:57 PM

Play properly, and stop being a smart-alec. It's not clever, and it's not funny.

X for liation

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 28, 2020, 05:22:28 PM

C for yourself
D for rent
F for vescence
I for novello
J for oranges
L for leather
K for grotto
L for leather
M for size
O for the road
Q for busses
R for mo
S for williams
T for two
U for me
V for la france
Y for husband
Z for zodiac

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 06:42:43 PM

Quote from: Wilkins Micawber on July 28, 2020, 12:58:11 PM

G for police

H for Steps

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: bluehillside Retd. on July 28, 2020, 08:12:16 PM

Here's the version I know off by heart:

A is for 'orses

B for mutton

C for yourself

D for mation of character

E for gas

F for vescent

G for police

H for ever (Heather)

I for Novello

J for oranges

K for teria

L for leather

M for Cream Sherry

N for mation

O for the top

P 45

Q for taxis

R for Daley

S for Rantzen

T for 2

U for mism

V for La France

W yer money

X for breakfast

Y for unts

Z for ellie

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 09:16:49 PM

Has anyone read Steve's OP?

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Robbie on July 28, 2020, 09:38:08 PM

W for anchor.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 28, 2020, 10:33:54 PM

Quote from: Nearly Sane on July 28, 2020, 09:16:49 PM

Has anyone read Steve's OP?

Never mind - let's just make it a general topic thread. It'd probably run out of steam soon as a game, anyway.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Owlswing on July 28, 2020, 11:32:44 PM

Quote from: Wilkins Micawber on July 28, 2020, 10:33:54 PM

Never mind - let's just make it a general topic thread. It'd probably run out of steam soon as a game, anyway.

Knowing senses of humour and the inventiveness of some stalwarts of this Forum I think you are monumentally underestimating their abilities to make some seriously twisted inventions and mangling of the English language!

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 12:49:10 PM

i for the ladies

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Owlswing on July 29, 2020, 01:39:11 PM

 J 's for the toilet

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 01:55:54 PM

K For Sutherland

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 29, 2020, 02:30:41 PM

L for sinners

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 02:38:09 PM

M for Trousers

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 29, 2020, 02:44:35 PM

N for postcodes

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 02:48:47 PM

O for FS!

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 29, 2020, 02:50:39 PM

P for urine sample

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 02:54:02 PM

Q for Snooker

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 29, 2020, 02:59:34 PM

R for a pint?

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Sebastian Toe on July 29, 2020, 03:02:01 PM

I for the engine.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 29, 2020, 03:03:33 PM

T for biting

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 03:04:03 PM

S for Deputy Führer 1933 - 1941

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 03:05:23 PM

U for trees

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 29, 2020, 03:29:10 PM

V for Las Vegas

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Robbie on July 29, 2020, 05:32:44 PM

W 4 omen

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 29, 2020, 10:33:22 PM

X for breakfast.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Sebastian Toe on July 30, 2020, 12:07:19 AM

W for thin mint?

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on July 30, 2020, 12:58:06 PM

Y for fuck's sake?

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 30, 2020, 01:08:56 PM

Z for Liza

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: ekim on July 30, 2020, 03:01:49 PM

A for Gardner

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on July 30, 2020, 03:02:23 PM

Bee for pollen

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on August 04, 2020, 12:10:08 PM

C for swimming in

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on August 04, 2020, 12:16:01 PM

D for Princess

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Steve H on August 04, 2020, 12:20:51 PM

E for got 'is face mask.

Title: Re: Cockney Alphabet
Post by: Nearly Sane on August 04, 2020, 01:21:04 PM

F for less