Author Topic: In Memory of Siobhan  (Read 2363 times)

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 36559
In Memory of Siobhan
« on: March 16, 2016, 03:31:47 PM »
Twenty years ago, my friend died on the day of her 28th birthday, on the day of her wedding, of skin cancer. A skin cancer that a GP failed to act on 3 times. She was a bright shining person, gentle and a delight to know. I miss her.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2016, 03:36:52 PM by Nearly Sane »

Shaker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15646
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2016, 06:33:03 PM »
Very moving NS and a touching tribute.

When we're remembered by the ones we loved and who loved us, we don't die. When the last one to remember us dies ... well, what does it matter then?
Pain, or damage, don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back. - Al Swearengen, Deadwood.

Gordon

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15115
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2016, 08:30:41 PM »
So young, and as well as the awful loss 20 years ago there is also the loss of her future - and that you remember her with such affection highlights that.

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 36559
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2016, 10:29:01 PM »
I moved back to Glasgow after 8 years away start of 1995. I held a sort of celebratory dinner and amongst friends and family Siobhan attended just after her first round of chemo. When they had asked her if she wanted a wig for the hair loss, she had said definitely, and a blond one. She had jet black hair. That evening, as we sang songs, did party pieces and built new memories, everyone at some point, including my father tried on Siobhan's new wig. By such things we are at our most open and caring and brave.

This is one of the many songs that makes me think of her, in part because of 'memories, burning gold memories'..
https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=b7XZPhgmTaw
« Last Edit: March 16, 2016, 10:45:40 PM by Nearly Sane »

Rhiannon

  • Guest
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2016, 07:36:35 AM »
Absolutely nothing useful to say, NS, but thank you, and I'm sorry.

Sassy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11029
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2016, 11:00:28 AM »
Twenty years ago, my friend died on the day of her 28th birthday, on the day of her wedding, of skin cancer. A skin cancer that a GP failed to act on 3 times. She was a bright shining person, gentle and a delight to know. I miss her.

For what it is worth NS,

How or when they died does not change the fact they have died and we hurt for them and miss them.
If a doctor missed it, I am sure they live with that mistake for the rest of their lives.
My dad had too much water was admitted to hospital to have it drained. When I got there they had his bed tilted up. Not one medical staff came on the ward during our visit so I could ask then why they had not drained the fluid. The tilting of bed dangerous putting pressure on heart.

On the Monday dad suffered massive heart attack they were going on about his weight till they drained 8 litres of water off him in the first hour. My dad was a slim man who they mistaken for obese. Two weeks later out of a coma but unable to talk due to pipes having been in his throat. My dad sat lively and alive smiling making signs. Then that night they sedated him and withdrew the medications so he would die. The damage to his heart meant he could not live without the medication.
I watched my dad die because of hospital blunders and I saw the pain in his face as his heart stopped.

I know medical people make mistakes which rob us of our loved ones. I also know they make lots of right decisions which save the lives of many others. Somethings are just not fair. My sister died the 25 February and my Father died the 22nd February. Both funerals fell the same day but years apart the 2nd March. We remember all those details at this time. But I mostly remember the person who is no longer here. I know I will see my dad and sister as well as other members of my family who have died.

It is best to have loved and lost them, than to have never had them at all.
We have no control over how they died. But we should remember and remind others to not leave a doctor till you get the checks you want and need. It is your health and life, so do what needs to be done.

I am sorry for your loss, NS, and hope that you will remember the good things about your friend and live for her, too.
We know we have to work together to abolish war and terrorism to create a compassionate  world in which Justice and peace prevail. Love ;D   Einstein
 "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

Alan Burns

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7893
  • I lay it down of my own free will. John 10:18
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2016, 07:52:06 AM »
As Shaker said, when a loved one dies, the love does not die.  The love continues in the memories of those who knew and loved her.
The truth will set you free  - John 8:32
Truth is not an abstraction, but a person - Edith Stein
Free Will is the highest truth about humanity - GK Chesterton

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 36559
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2017, 01:35:16 AM »
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 02:25:10 AM by Nearly Sane »

Bubbles

  • Guest
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2017, 07:21:42 AM »
21 years



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEnG16o9KE4

She lives on in your memories NS.

It's a tribute to her, you remember her.

🙂💐


enki

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3233
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2017, 01:11:28 PM »
21 years



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEnG16o9KE4

All my best friends from my youth are now dead, Nearly.  I am now the sole possessor of some very special memories. I found your latest post rather poignant.
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 36559
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2017, 01:33:44 PM »
All my best friends from my youth are now dead, Nearly.  I am now the sole possessor of some very special memories. I found your latest post rather poignant.
And I  find your post very poignant. I have lost a few friends but overall i am pretty lucky. A few years back, i had two friends die in their early fifties close together. Since then i have tried to see people as frequently as I can, and got back in touch with people and I preach the value of carpe diem because both of those deaths were shocks and sudden.

Both their funerals were huge and helped people to meet up., so in the tragedy some good came of it. I still don't do enough in part because there are times that i am a dreadful misanthrope. And to link to the question that Walter asked about whether the board is dying, even if it does i have met some excellent and fascinating people through it and have been lucky to get two great friends in Gonnagle and Gordon from it.

Walter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4252
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2017, 02:54:02 PM »
NS
that was beautiful, that's all I can say for now.

Sassy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11029
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2017, 11:10:36 AM »
And I  find your post very poignant. I have lost a few friends but overall i am pretty lucky. A few years back, i had two friends die in their early fifties close together. Since then i have tried to see people as frequently as I can, and got back in touch with people and I preach the value of carpe diem because both of those deaths were shocks and sudden.

Both their funerals were huge and helped people to meet up., so in the tragedy some good came of it. I still don't do enough in part because there are times that i am a dreadful misanthrope. And to link to the question that Walter asked about whether the board is dying, even if it does i have met some excellent and fascinating people through it and have been lucky to get two great friends in Gonnagle and Gordon from it.

Is that "Seize the day" ? I am glad you visit your friends. Since my disabled child born I very rarely see my old friends and even family less and less.
My neighbour who a young and vibrant woman I have become good friends with. She mows my lawn and I do the hedges etc.
When she first gave birth to her daughter there was problems and during that time I did her lawn and helped where I could.
We have become good friends and we listen to each others problems and support each other.

My friends still close and family I do see tell me to take more care of myself. I would remind you NS to do the same. Don't wear yourself out like have done several times trying to help everyone else. Take care of yourself. x
We know we have to work together to abolish war and terrorism to create a compassionate  world in which Justice and peace prevail. Love ;D   Einstein
 "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

Nearly Sane

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 36559
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2017, 11:58:05 AM »
Is that "Seize the day" ? I am glad you visit your friends. Since my disabled child born I very rarely see my old friends and even family less and less.
My neighbour who a young and vibrant woman I have become good friends with. She mows my lawn and I do the hedges etc.
When she first gave birth to her daughter there was problems and during that time I did her lawn and helped where I could.
We have become good friends and we listen to each others problems and support each other.

My friends still close and family I do see tell me to take more care of myself. I would remind you NS to do the same. Don't wear yourself out like have done several times trying to help everyone else. Take care of yourself. x

Kind words, Sassy, thank you. To be fair, seeing friends is a boon, but can as you suggest have its costs. It's not so much about help just keeping in touch but there are times when being an unofficial social secretary can be wearing.


And yes, carpe diem is Seize the Day. I mentioned in my thread on the death of my father on this board, that he taught me to seize life which you made kind remarks on. I spoke at the funeral and it was not that long after the deaths of my friends mentioned above and not long after a 'big' birthday for me. As I said then seizing the day isn't about seeing the Aurora Australia, or bungee jumping in Madagascar, but the opportunity to be with those you love, the times of great laughter when you wipe tears from your eyes, and the times of sadness when friend's kind hands help wipe the tears for you.


I know people who have travelled the world, seeing the sights, eating extraordinary food and wine, but have glimpsed nothing of the humanity.


So take care too, Sassy, enjoy the hedging while the mowing is done. Enjoy your friend.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2017, 06:17:22 PM by Nearly Sane »

Rhiannon

  • Guest
Re: In Memory of Siobhan
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2017, 11:36:40 PM »
Just echoing what NS said a few posts back, this place has introduced me to some amazing people, expanded my mind, showed me ideas and concepts I'd never known. Someone once described posting here as a 'hobby' but it is more than that, it's keeping in touch with part of my tribe. And for as long as it is still here, I want to make the most of it.

Even if one or two of you do piss me off sometimes.