Religion and Ethics Forum

General Category => Science and Technology => Topic started by: Rhiannon on September 22, 2015, 09:16:56 AM

Title: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 22, 2015, 09:16:56 AM
The Small Rhis' school are asking pupils to come up with original maths jokes. My eleven year old came up with this:

Last week I ate a pi but I couldn't get to the end of it.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Gordon on September 22, 2015, 09:21:10 AM
The Small Rhis' school are asking pupils to come up with original maths jokes. My eleven year old came up with this:

Last week I ate a pi but I couldn't get to the end of it.

Could have tried rounding the pi - after all most pies seem to be round  :)
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Outrider on September 22, 2015, 09:31:02 AM
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.

Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Shaker on September 22, 2015, 10:27:37 AM
A physics joke but based on the fact that he practically had to invent a new branch of mathematics to cope with the science, it's the only clean one I can summon up off the top of my head.

Blue plaque on the outside of Werner Heisenberg's house: Heisenberg might have lived here.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Outrider on September 22, 2015, 10:31:05 AM
Statisticians do it better*

(*on average)

Or the classic:

There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand alternative bases and those that don't.

O.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Aruntraveller on September 22, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Maths puns = the first sine of madness
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: jeremyp on September 22, 2015, 03:18:39 PM
My mate tried to compare the surface of a sphere with the Euclidean plane, but he couldn't find any parallels.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 22, 2015, 03:38:51 PM
The mathematicians answer to constipation - Work it out with a pencil!
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 22, 2015, 03:41:27 PM
A young mathematician named Hall
Had an hexadronical ball
The cube of its weight
Was Pi minus 8
Which is two-thirds of three fifths of naff all!
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Alien on September 22, 2015, 05:44:59 PM
The mathematicians answer to constipation - Work it out with a pencil!
Or "as a log".
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 22, 2015, 06:11:52 PM
The mathematicians answer to constipation - Work it out with a pencil!
Or "as a log".

Good old Forefinger tables!
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: SqueakyVoice on September 22, 2015, 06:26:25 PM
Q - What does the B stand for in Benoit B Mandelbrot?

A - Benoit B Mandelbrot.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: SqueakyVoice on September 22, 2015, 06:29:42 PM
Blue plaque on the outside of Werner Heisenberg's house: Heisenberg might have lived here.
(Also Heisenberg gets pulled  over by the police who ask him if he knows how fast he was going. His response was, "No. But I did know exactly where I was.")
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Sebastian Toe on September 22, 2015, 07:06:57 PM
How do you make seven an even number?

...remove the 's'!

Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Sebastian Toe on September 22, 2015, 07:12:41 PM
 The algebra teacher didn't feed his parrot for three days

... all it could say was 'polly no-meal'.


Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: jeremyp on September 22, 2015, 08:32:03 PM
On my street the houses are numbered 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19 etc

It's prime real estate.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: jeremyp on September 22, 2015, 08:34:14 PM
We have 3lb, 5lb, 7lb, 11lb steaks.

It's all prime beef.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Enki on September 22, 2015, 09:02:03 PM
The algebra teacher didn't feed his parrot for three days

... all it could say was 'polly no-meal'.

Did it die of hunger then...in which case it would be a polygon. ::)
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 22, 2015, 09:51:06 PM
You want a really sick Maths joke?

Try the education at just about any modern Secondary School - it really is a joke!

Without a calculator most 18 year olds can't work out the square of 9 nor the square root of 81 - but they still get A's or A*'s. 
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Nearly Sane on September 22, 2015, 10:33:00 PM
You want a really sick Maths joke?

Try the education at just about any modern Secondary School - it really is a joke!

Without a calculator most 18 year olds can't work out the square of 9 nor the square root of 81 - but they still get A's or A*'s.

citation?
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: trippymonkey on September 22, 2015, 10:33:34 PM
A's means something belonging to A. It doesn't mean a plural.

Maybe we can diversify to good english grammar now ?!?!!?
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 02:51:30 AM
A's means something belonging to A. It doesn't mean a plural.

Maybe we can diversify to good english grammar now ?!?!!?

Nit-picker!

You never dropped a clanger? And don't bother lying they are littered all over - just like mine!
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 03:02:35 AM
You want a really sick Maths joke?

Try the education at just about any modern Secondary School - it really is a joke!

Without a calculator most 18 year olds can't work out the square of 9 nor the square root of 81 - but they still get A's or A*'s.

citation?

Interviewing and testing candidates for jobs in the Accounts department of my last employer.

Other questions on which students with (just for Trippy) As (and this, according to Trippy is how multiple A is written - it looks like the word "As" to me) and A*s failed

What is 12.5% of £ 50.00?

If paid 10% interest per annum how much would £ 50 be at the end 3 years?

It was also found that four out of every five candidates could not accurately crosscast a 12 column 30 line spreadsheet without a calculator, and one out of every ten got it wrong even with a calculator.

It is really a damn shame because they were all good kids whose teachers had seriously let them down by teaching them to pass exams and not how to do maths.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Nearly Sane on September 23, 2015, 07:25:24 AM
Sorry, but that's not a citation that evidences your claim that most 18 year old cannot work out the square root of 81.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: trippymonkey on September 23, 2015, 07:49:49 AM
A's means something belonging to A. It doesn't mean a plural.

Maybe we can diversify to good english grammar now ?!?!!?

Nit-picker!

You never dropped a clanger? And don't bother lying they are littered all over - just like mine!

Please find one !!

On Your Marks .........
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 09:36:41 AM
Sorry, but that's not a citation that evidences your claim that most 18 year old cannot work out the square root of 81.

Tough!

Quite honestly I couldn't give a shit if it is or isn't - it was my experience and that is that.

All I will do is to amend the line to read "in my experience most 18 year olds cannot work out the square root of 81 withgout resorting to a calculator".

You can be as sorry as you like - it won't change anything!

Please supply verifiable evidence that your moniker is true.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Nearly Sane on September 23, 2015, 10:06:09 AM
Sorry, but that's not a citation that evidences your claim that most 18 year old cannot work out the square root of 81.

Tough!

Quite honestly I couldn't give a shit if it is or isn't - it was my experience and that is that.

All I will do is to amend the line to read "in my experience most 18 year olds cannot work out the square root of 81 withgout resorting to a calculator".

You can be as sorry as you like - it won't change anything!

Please supply verifiable evidence that your moniker is true.

Not sure why you want to react like this, I merely asked a question and disagreed with the answer. There was no personal attack and the moniker is self mocking anyway.

Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 23, 2015, 10:51:47 AM
That my eleven year old made up the joke in the OP would suggest schools are teaching maths properly?
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 11:23:22 AM
That my eleven year old made up the joke in the OP would suggest schools are teaching maths properly?

Sorry, Lass, but I would class his joke as being a pun and thus not mathematical.

Clever, yes,  and about a mathematical constant, yes, but not mathematical and therefore nothing to do with what he is being taught.

Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 11:37:27 AM
Sorry, but that's not a citation that evidences your claim that most 18 year old cannot work out the square root of 81.

Tough!

Quite honestly I couldn't give a shit if it is or isn't - it was my experience and that is that.

All I will do is to amend the line to read "in my experience most 18 year olds cannot work out the square root of 81 withgout resorting to a calculator".

You can be as sorry as you like - it won't change anything!

Please supply verifiable evidence that your moniker is true.

Not sure why you want to react like this, I merely asked a question and disagreed with the answer. There was no personal attack and the moniker is self mocking anyway.

I can only speak from my experience of interviewing and testing 16 to 18 year olds for jobs in accounts that require at least some knowledge of how to do maths.

Your question requesting evidence suggets that you are calling what I am saying is lies (now who else called anything he disagreed with lles - can't remember for the moment) - I am not lying, I am not making it up.

Listening to and watching a group of Sixth Formers from a prestgious local school going over their homework every single question was answered using a calculator including one part of one question that required the square root of 81 which was worked out by the calulator and not the student.

Watching till operator fighting with the problem of how much change to give for an item costing 92p when given £1.02 is horrendous - even when told what the change was the operator handed back the two pence piece and added four more from the till despite having a section full to overflowing with 10 pence pieces.

Sorry NS - I don't know how old you are but when I was at school we we taught to use our brains for these kind of mathematical calculations. If I need to do most day-to-day calculations and do not have my phone (with calculator app) I can usually do it in my head.  My experience tells me that kids these days cannot.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 23, 2015, 11:42:48 AM
That my eleven year old made up the joke in the OP would suggest schools are teaching maths properly?

Sorry, Lass, but I would class his joke as being a pun and thus not mathematical.

Clever, yes,  and about a mathematical constant, yes, but not mathematical and therefore nothing to do with what he is being taught.

She knows that pi is infinite ie she couldn't get to the end of it.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Nearly Sane on September 23, 2015, 12:44:00 PM
I can only speak from my experience of interviewing and testing 16 to 18 year olds for jobs in accounts that require at least some knowledge of how to do maths.

Your question requesting evidence suggets that you are calling what I am saying is lies (now who else called anything he disagreed with lles - can't remember for the moment) - I am not lying, I am not making it up.

Listening to and watching a group of Sixth Formers from a prestgious local school going over their homework every single question was answered using a calculator including one part of one question that required the square root of 81 which was worked out by the calulator and not the student.

Watching till operator fighting with the problem of how much change to give for an item costing 92p when given £1.02 is horrendous - even when told what the change was the operator handed back the two pence piece and added four more from the till despite having a section full to overflowing with 10 pence pieces.

Sorry NS - I don't know how old you are but when I was at school we we taught to use our brains for these kind of mathematical calculations. If I need to do most day-to-day calculations and do not have my phone (with calculator app) I can usually do it in my head.  My experience tells me that kids these days cannot.

You made a claim beyond stating it was in your experince, I asked for something to justify it and you cited only your experience - pointing out that that does not justify the claim, is not suggesting anything about lies. This was all prior to your adjusting your posy which had you expressed it in that way originally, I would not have said anything.

I distrust generic statements made on the basis of experiences because we are generally crap at evaluating such data.



Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 12:49:33 PM
That my eleven year old made up the joke in the OP would suggest schools are teaching maths properly?

Sorry, Lass, but I would class his joke as being a pun and thus not mathematical.

Clever, yes,  and about a mathematical constant, yes, but not mathematical and therefore nothing to do with what he is being taught.


She knows that pi is infinite ie she couldn't get to the end of it.


Sorry for the HE/SHE error - apologise to her for me please.

I would agree with you - I just looked at it from the wrong angle.
 
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 12:55:12 PM


I distrust generic statements made on the basis of experiences because we are generally crap at evaluating such data.

. . . because we are generally crap at evaluating such data.

Who, precisely, are "we"?

Anyway, extending this discussion is pointless, I stick to my opinion, an opinion based on practical experience and you do not agree with it - stalemate.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 23, 2015, 01:08:23 PM
That my eleven year old made up the joke in the OP would suggest schools are teaching maths properly?

Sorry, Lass, but I would class his joke as being a pun and thus not mathematical.

Clever, yes,  and about a mathematical constant, yes, but not mathematical and therefore nothing to do with what he is being taught.


She knows that pi is infinite ie she couldn't get to the end of it.


Sorry for the HE/SHE error - apologise to her for me please.

I would agree with you - I just looked at it from the wrong angle.

No worries.  :)

I spoke to a guy ten years or so ago who taught maths at Cambridge and he made the same point as you - that the A* A level students he had coming through needed elementary maths refreshers before beginning his coursework. But I know that more recently teaching and examination have moved away from using calculators for everything and back to a mix. My 13 year old very rarely uses a calculator for homework - this week has been long multiplication of decimals in old-school columns, over the summer it was problem-solving using everything from probability to percentages to bearings.

What I do see a lot of - in myself and in two of my kids for starters - is maths anxiety. Maths was a high stakes subject when I was at school, even more so now in the age of league tables and 'added value'. When helping my kids now I breeze through stuff that would have defeated me at their age, not because of its difficulty but because of the pressure to get it right. I suspect the same happens to young people in job interviews.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 23, 2015, 02:09:53 PM
I would take your point on stress but the CEO of the company I worked for was, in some ways, extremely forward thinking and all applicants were called in at 0900 and the maths test was given as "take all the time you need, you have until lunch, 12:30 to complete the test", 40 problems.

I have read of comments by various Professors of Mathematics at various Universities lamenting the state of up to Sixth Form maths, but this has only happened since my retirement and, as I have said, my recent experiences do not exactly fill me with hope of much significant improvement. If it happens I will be only too glad to see it - old stats freak me!
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 23, 2015, 03:57:56 PM
It's amazing hiw maths anxiety works - my eldest gets it at home with unlimited time to complete her work. I was the same at her age. Now my maths is pretty sound - except when manning a market stall, then my brain turns to jam.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Jack Knave on September 23, 2015, 06:13:47 PM
A maths tree, it has square roots.

This thread should be in the General sections it has nothing to do with science 
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Harrowby Hall on September 25, 2015, 06:50:04 PM
When he was leader of the Liberal Party, Jeremy Thorpe was very concerned about the paucity of arithmetical skills among his fellow MPs.

He advised them "to go forth and multiply - or some such expression."
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: jeremyp on September 25, 2015, 07:24:23 PM

I spoke to a guy ten years or so ago who taught maths at Cambridge and he made the same point as you - that the A* A level students he had coming through needed elementary maths refreshers before beginning his coursework.
Yes, but by elementary maths, he almost certainly did not mean "being able to do mental arithmetic in your head". And it's pretty standard, by the way: when I started my maths degree, the first course was a "basic maths" course to make sure everybody was up to the same level. Roughly speaking it was my entire two years of A level Further Maths condensed into nine one our lectures.

Quote
I breeze through stuff that would have defeated me at their age, not because of its difficulty but because of the pressure to get it right. I suspect the same happens to young people in job interviews.
I'm sure there's some truth in that. An A* student in maths won't need a calculator to find the square root of 81, but they might use one in a high pressure situation like a job interview.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Rhiannon on September 26, 2015, 08:18:18 AM
My mistake, Jeremy, he said 'remedial maths' not elementary. But this is only one anecdote.
Title: Re: Maths jokes
Post by: Owlswing on September 26, 2015, 09:40:36 AM

. . .he almost certainly did not mean "being able to do mental arithmetic in your head".


Where the Hell else would you do "mental arithmetic" but "in your head"?

[quote}

An A* student in maths won't need a calculator to find the square root of 81, but they might use one in a high pressure situation like a job interview.

[/quote]

In a "high pressure situation" was a norm for the office in which I worked and it was found that "in a high pressure situation" wrong keys got pressed and errors occurred - a customer's bill dicounted by 75% instead of 45% for instance - only £ 3.00 on £ 10.00, but on £57,500 it was an error of £ 17,250 - fortunately spotted by a supervisor!