Roses are red, violets are blue, the look of you would make me spew

[Nearly Sane]

Or similar from Victorian times


http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/34JCKJtrl07f5kY3G9kFNpd/eight-incredibly-offensive-victorian-valentines

[Rhiannon]

I do appreciate their take on virile beards.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/31SKHd61RYxJBryrQ4NfmWJ/nine-reasons-victorians-thought-men-were-better-with-beards

[Nearly Sane]

I note they don't say that it works as a handy snack holder.

[Gordon]

I'm a fan of beards: I'd be at a loss clean-shaven (nothing to stroke, tug or nibble).

[Nearly Sane]

I'm a fan of beards: I'd be at a loss clean-shaven (nothing to stroke, tug or nibble).

I was wondering which of the selection in the link you most identified with?

[Gordon]

I was wondering which of the selection in the link you most identified with?

Has to be No.9: “Sir, you can have no place in heaven without a beard! Therefore, I entreat you, let yours grow immediately!”

If it transpires I'm wrong as regards the divine then at least I'll have one of the qualifying attributes.