Author Topic: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.  (Read 2975 times)

Steve H

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The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« on: August 22, 2017, 10:02:56 AM »
As voted for by whom, I know not.

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe
1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
I came to realise that every time we recognise something human in creatures, we are also recognising something creaturely in ourselves. That is central to the rejection of human supremacism as the pernicious doctrine it is.
Robert Macfarlane

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2017, 10:07:14 AM »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-40999000

It's that time of year again - although to me it only seems like last month since this list appeared. Age I expect.

I am also putting it down to age that I don't find this as funny as previous years efforts. Or I might just not be in the mood for gags.

number 6 was the only one that raised a smile for me.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2017, 10:09:19 AM »
Look now - I posted on this over on the Arts board!

I will delete it. My comments on this were that it wasn't as funny as previous lists but I fully accept that may be my age or state of mind.

Number 6 made me smile though.

EDIT: I can't remove it as it is a topic! I expect the mods may do the honours when they emerge from the bar.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Rhiannon

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2017, 10:09:41 AM »
I like the brella one.

Rhiannon

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2017, 10:10:46 AM »
I just replied to you Trent. Ask the mods to combine them.

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2017, 10:13:01 AM »
I just replied to you Trent. Ask the mods to combine them.

Yes just saw your reply. Will message them.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

floo

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2017, 10:38:07 AM »
I don't think any of them are particularly amusing.

Steve H

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2017, 10:38:42 AM »
Look now - I posted on this over on the Arts board!

I will delete it. My comments on this were that it wasn't as funny as previous lists but I fully accept that may be my age or state of mind.

Number 6 made me smile though.

EDIT: I can't remove it as it is a topic! I expect the mods may do the honours when they emerge from the bar.
Oops! Sorry about that. I found it on Facebook.
I came to realise that every time we recognise something human in creatures, we are also recognising something creaturely in ourselves. That is central to the rejection of human supremacism as the pernicious doctrine it is.
Robert Macfarlane

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2017, 10:50:28 AM »
Oops! Sorry about that. I found it on Facebook.

No need for apology - I'd just seen it on the BBC. So contrary to the joke coincidences do happen.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Sebastian Toe

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2017, 11:21:32 AM »
I don't think any of them are particularly amusing.
Queen Victoria is reincarnated!
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends.'
Albert Einstein

floo

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2017, 11:46:14 AM »
Queen Victoria is reincarnated!

I knew there was something Royal about me! ;D

There is a new drama series starting about her on ITV next Sunday.

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2017, 11:57:29 AM »
I knew there was something Royal about me! ;D

There is a new drama series starting about her on ITV next Sunday.

All bustles and balderdash.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Steve H

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2017, 12:07:36 PM »
All bustles and balderdash.
Crinoline and codswallop.
I came to realise that every time we recognise something human in creatures, we are also recognising something creaturely in ourselves. That is central to the rejection of human supremacism as the pernicious doctrine it is.
Robert Macfarlane

Aruntraveller

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2017, 12:13:55 PM »
Crinoline and codswallop.

Antimacassars and avarice.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - God is Love.

Rhiannon

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2017, 12:16:42 PM »
Fur coat and no knickers.

Or was that someone else?

Robbie

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2017, 05:28:17 PM »
Wonderful stuff SteveH & Ttent!
My eldest daughter, niece (with boyfriends), and brother-in-law(who is Sot) with one nephew are up there, back weekend. I'dl-sort of-liked to have been but had my main holiday July (anyway, i'm happy for  the young to go to 'fringe')

Floo the first Vicotria Drama was excellent. I too am looking forward to second series.
True Wit is Nature to Advantage drest,
          What oft was Thought, but ne’er so well Exprest

floo

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2017, 01:45:39 PM »
This is for real, but highly amusing, imo. It is an Australian school answering machine.

There is a bit of a time delay at the beginning.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Pwghabw4N80?rel=0

Robbie

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Re: The top 15 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2017, 03:12:39 PM »
Ha -haha - whoo hoo floo!
(The voice of the lady on the answering machine is pleasing to the ear)
True Wit is Nature to Advantage drest,
          What oft was Thought, but ne’er so well Exprest