Roddy Doyle:
-See Burt Bacharach died.
-She was great, wasn’t she? She was fuckin’ gorgeous.
-Hang on – wha’?
-Barbara Bach. Married to Ringo Starr, she was – the lucky fucker.
-I said Burt Bacharach.
-Ah, well – he was great as well.
-How would you know? You’re fuckin’ deaf.
-Raindrops keep fallin’ on me brain.
-Head.
-Yeah. Like – we’d be here all night listin’ off the great songs Burt wrote.
-Walk On By.
-Jesus, man – the Stranglers’ version o’ tha’ one.
-Amazin’.
-I wonder did Burt like it.
-‘Course he did.
-The Look of Love.
-Dusty Springfield.
-She was great too.
-It was women tha’ sang most of his songs, wasn’t it? An’ come here.
-Wha’?
-I used to go this place – the upstairs room of a pub off Capel Street – I can’t remember the name of it. It was brilliant – they only played soul records.
-I remember it.
-Wha’ was it called?
-Can’t remember. It was great though.
-For fuck sake. So, anyway, I’m there this one time an’ Aretha Franklin was singin’ and I kind o’ dance me way over to this young one an I sing, ‘Whenever I wake up an’ tha’, I say I little prayer for youuuu.’ An’ she goes, ‘Say a little prayer for yourself, Mallet Head.’
-Brilliant. Wha’ happened then?
-I burst me shite laughin’,
-An wha’ happened then?
-She married me.
