Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.  (Read 229666 times)

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2250 on: June 21, 2025, 04:10:52 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2251 on: June 24, 2025, 01:22:06 PM »
.

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2252 on: June 30, 2025, 04:24:23 PM »
!
Say it loud, say it clear -
REFUGEES ARE WELCOME HERE!

Enki

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2253 on: June 30, 2025, 09:07:36 PM »
I have a feeling that robots have still some way to go still ;) :)


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c5ylkyrkjnzo
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2254 on: July 01, 2025, 09:34:49 AM »
I have a feeling that robots have still some way to go still ;) :)


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c5ylkyrkjnzo
You are obviously not a Greenock Morton fan, that lot look scary good

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2255 on: July 02, 2025, 08:03:24 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2256 on: July 03, 2025, 07:03:18 AM »
--
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2257 on: July 03, 2025, 10:11:48 AM »
.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2258 on: July 06, 2025, 10:33:51 AM »
.. today's earworm. You're welcome.
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2259 on: July 06, 2025, 10:46:20 AM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2260 on: July 06, 2025, 12:27:57 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

ekim

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2261 on: July 06, 2025, 03:08:04 PM »
Signs of the times.

Seen:
In the toilet of a London Office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER.  PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:  AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES - PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London Department Store:  BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.
In an Office: AFTER A TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.  WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.
Notice in a Health Shop window:  CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a Safari Park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
Notice in a farmer's field:  THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:  IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
On a repair shop door:  WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.  (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

Roses

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2262 on: July 07, 2025, 12:28:13 PM »
Signs of the times.

Seen:
In the toilet of a London Office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER.  PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:  AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES - PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London Department Store:  BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.
In an Office: AFTER A TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.  WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.
Notice in a Health Shop window:  CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a Safari Park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
Notice in a farmer's field:  THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:  IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
On a repair shop door:  WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.  (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

 ;D
"At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them."

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2263 on: July 12, 2025, 10:51:49 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2264 on: July 17, 2025, 01:50:40 PM »
 ;D
Say it loud, say it clear -
REFUGEES ARE WELCOME HERE!

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2265 on: July 22, 2025, 07:54:59 AM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2266 on: July 22, 2025, 03:47:00 PM »
 ;D
Say it loud, say it clear -
REFUGEES ARE WELCOME HERE!

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2267 on: July 27, 2025, 02:08:20 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Aruntraveller

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2268 on: July 29, 2025, 06:57:55 PM »
..
Hate the belief, love the believer.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2269 on: August 03, 2025, 08:28:31 PM »
The Scottish version



jeremyp

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2270 on: August 04, 2025, 02:14:45 PM »
I was walking home the other night when I got mugged. I was so distressed that I immediately broke down in tears.

Then a policeman approached me and issued me with a ten pound fine.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" I said.

He said "yes".
This post and all of JeremyP's posts words certified 100% divinely inspired* -- signed God.
*Platinum infallibility package, terms and conditions may apply

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2271 on: August 06, 2025, 09:26:04 PM »
.

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2272 on: August 13, 2025, 06:01:12 PM »
.

Steve H

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2273 on: August 14, 2025, 01:41:29 PM »
.
Say it loud, say it clear -
REFUGEES ARE WELCOME HERE!

Nearly Sane

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Re: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.
« Reply #2274 on: August 14, 2025, 02:53:22 PM »



I just got my A level results. I got a D for Homeopathy. I'm really please as it is a highly diluted A