Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 194002 times)

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1452 on:** June 02, 2023, 08:00:01 PM »

A root vegetable wrote a long story and now it's being published.
That's a turnip for books.

(c) Therese Coffey

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1453 on:** June 03, 2023, 08:43:51 PM »

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1454 on:** June 04, 2023, 11:26:32 AM »

Quote from: Nearly Sane on June 03, 2023, 08:43:51 PM

.

Sherlock hunted him down after saying, "The games afoot."

Steve H · « **Reply #1455 on:** June 07, 2023, 10:37:12 AM »

Three French cats went sailing, but their boat had a hole in it. Un deux trois cats sank.

jeremyp · « **Reply #1456 on:** June 07, 2023, 01:17:19 PM »

Quote from: SqueakyVoice on June 04, 2023, 11:26:32 AM

Sherlock hunted him down after saying, "The games afoot."

They confiscated his prosthetic limb to stop him from escaping. At his trial, he didn't have a leg to stand on.

Steve H · « **Reply #1457 on:** June 07, 2023, 01:21:01 PM »

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.

How do you make a cat bark?
Pour petrol over it, put a match to it and WOOF!

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1458 on:** June 10, 2023, 10:39:04 AM »

Steve H · « **Reply #1459 on:** June 10, 2023, 02:12:40 PM »

The NHS hasn't got enough people to deliver babies.
It's a midwife crisis.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1460 on:** June 11, 2023, 12:14:08 AM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1461 on:** June 12, 2023, 04:14:06 PM »

Steve H · « **Reply #1462 on:** June 12, 2023, 09:54:07 PM »

Please make me a cheese sandwich.
Caerphilly?
Of course - we don't want any accidents.

Aruntraveller · « **Reply #1463 on:** June 12, 2023, 11:05:43 PM »

Did you hear about the cannibal who was keen on both cheese and French Naturalism school of Literature.

He likes to gorge on zola.

Sebastian Toe · « **Reply #1464 on:** June 13, 2023, 07:59:20 PM »

My grandparents on my mother's side were called Pearl and Dean.
We called them Grandma and Grandpapapapapapapapapapapapapapapa-pa!

Sebastian Toe · « **Reply #1465 on:** June 16, 2023, 09:55:37 AM »

I used to be a programmer for Autocorrect.

They fried me for no raisin.

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1466 on:** June 16, 2023, 06:42:57 PM »

Quote from: Sebastian Toe on June 16, 2023, 09:55:37 AM

I used to be a programmer for Autocorrect.

They fried me for no raisin.

Maybe you should get a trybewnarl?

SqueakyVoice · « **Reply #1467 on:** June 16, 2023, 07:29:33 PM »

I entered a camping competition a while ago, but I wasn't competitive enough to win. It was in tents.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1468 on:** June 18, 2023, 02:47:13 PM »

Darth Vader is going to the French bakery to get three baguettes and two desserts. It's his favourite: pain, pain, pain, tarte tatin, tarte tatin.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1469 on:** June 19, 2023, 09:39:59 AM »

Is it alright to tell dad jokes if you are not a dad?

No, that's a faux pas.

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1470 on:** June 19, 2023, 10:31:46 PM »

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1471 on:** June 20, 2023, 09:19:43 PM »

Steve H · « **Reply #1472 on:** June 21, 2023, 07:56:10 AM »

Adam Ant - the only pop star to put a white line across his nose, instead of up it.

Sebastian Toe · « **Reply #1473 on:** June 23, 2023, 11:20:12 PM »

I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter discreetly whispered "Excuse me sir but your wife has slid under the table"

"Wrong" I said, "my wife has just walked in"........

Nearly Sane · « **Reply #1474 on:** July 02, 2023, 12:21:18 PM »

News:

Author Topic: More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny. (Read 194002 times)