More jokes please, good or bad as long as they're funny.

[Nearly Sane]

1 "Do you know the price of a chimney?"

2  "Let me guess, it's on the house"

1  "No actually, it's gone through the roof"

It flue up and up

[Nearly Sane]

There are 3 days left till Christmas










According to the chocolates in my advent calendar

[Nearly Sane]

Excellent approach

[Nearly Sane]

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[Steve H]

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[Nearly Sane]

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[Nearly Sane]

What do you get when you mix Sheep DNA with Scottish DNA?


















Kicked out of a Scottish zoo.

[Nearly Sane]

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[SqueakyVoice]

A paralysed emu wanted to be a famous entertainer and asked an agent for advice.
He was told he'd have to be part of a double act, to help to walk around.
He ended up incredibly cross, because he had a made a Rod on his own back.

[Nearly Sane]

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Happy Hanukkah

[Nearly Sane]

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[Nearly Sane]

What weighs more a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?


A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

[jeremyp]

What weighs more a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?


A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

You’re not supposed to pull your crackers before Christmas.

Also get better crackers.

[Steve H]

How do you make a cat bark?
Pour petrol over it, put a match to it, and WOOF!

[Nearly Sane]

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[Aruntraveller]

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[Steve H]

Why is Rishi Sunak like  Christmas tree?
Because he's prickly and wilting, and he'll be chucked out in January.
Nicked from 'Private Eye'.

[Nearly Sane]

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